Pledge to never starve again!

     I raised my kids in a single parent household where I was both mother and father.  During the early years I worked but the income did not make ends meet so often I looked for help at food banks and from welfare.  You know as well as I do that beggars can't be choosers.  My kids were always fed and many times I ate scraps, leftovers and sometimes nothing to make sure that the kids ate and other times food was abundant and I inhaled food like I had been starving.
     As a single low income parent I fell into the trap of cooking, feeding and eating everything that the kids ate...mac and cheese, hot dogs, spagettios, chips, donuts and other bad for you foods. I also used a lot of noodles, potatoes, bread, real butter, eggs and cheese which most of those things are super dooper cheap and make really good fillers...for your butt!
     Over the years I learned a little about having better eating habits and I understand the concepts of carbohydrates, calories, fat and sodium but how they all work together to make things jive with my metabolism...NOT SO MUCH!  You get alot of people who are happy to share their story with hopes that you can benefit from thier wisdom and a lot of the information kept coming back to how important it is to eat right, drink water and take your vitamins.
     So my next step was to buy alot of ready to eat foods that I can have with me during the day for example salads, carrots, grapes, bananas, celery, zuchini, apples, yogurt and granola bars to name a few.  Making a healthy dinner in the evening was pretty easy unless I starved myself during the day then all bets were off...if it was edible and ready to eat then I was eating it.  I learned many years ago that it is better to eat more smaller meals and spread them out over the day but that too backfired because self control, more like portion control wasn't completely understood nor obeyed
     Off and on for many years I have taking mulit-vitamins along with other suggested suppliments.  The doctor told me I needed more calcium and a vitamin D to help the calcium absorb, a friend told me that a vitamin B will give you more energy and that a fish oil capsule is good for your heart and the next thing I knew I was taking a whole handful of vitamins and supplements...literally!  Ok so I am eating pretty healthy (for the most part) and if I am missing meals wouldn't it stand to reason that I am covered and am at optimal health...NO...I still feel like I am missing something...still starving!  
     I would gear myself up for a big change of loosing weight and honestly make it weeks to months of eating healthy, taking my vitamins and getting a bit of exercise (dislike that word).  I would lose enough weight that I could put my "big girl jeans" in the back of the closet but found that I could not stick to anything particularly healthy for any length of time.  The biggest problem is I am so on the go (all the time) that I find there is nothing in the fridge because I haven't gone shopping so I set off for my day and end up starving myself because I have no food.  I bought trail mix so I always have something to snack on with me and would end up eating half the bag.  Now I am semi satisfied with happy anticipation of the intestinal pockets that will be hurting later.  It seems after everything I try still feel like I am lacking something but can not tell you what it is but it sends me into a tailspin of starting the bad habits all over again and worse!  What keeps coming back to me is how great I feel when I go to the Donut House and buy a big dark blueberry fritter (sometimes 2)...that will break ALL the rules because there is no moderation in moderate...give into the fritter!!  So the question and subsequent answer becomes...to starve or not to starve...how about NOT!
     I have a habit of not buy things I do not need which includes food and being an on the go, always busy person I find that when I open the fridgerator and find nothing there I will just make another cup of coffee and pick something up that is fast and easy while I am on the move.  Try going into the grocery store when you are hungry (starving) and buy something healthy...LOL...isn't it easier to just pop by McDonalds, Burger King or Jack in the box for a dollar sandwich.